A Place of Surrender

Throughout my adult life I have struggled with feelings of failure and defeat. I always look ahead at life.."when I get married...", "when I live on my own...", "when we have more money...", "when we have a house...". Over time I have accomplished many of these goals but never find myself satisfied. I turn to God and ask "Why am I such a failure?" "Why can't I just be happy?". Then I would turn to guilt over these feelings, "I know I am blessed...". This study has helped me to realize I am not alone, nor am I a failure!
When doubt and fear starts to creep in I think about my "I can/am" statements...
1. I am a good mother
2. I am a good wife
3. I do a good job at my career.
I have also started backing these statements up with Gods promises.

"For I know the plans I have for you..."

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well."

"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love ⁵ he^[a] predestined us for adoption to sonship^[b] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—"

I also look at my past to see how God has fulfilled the plan he had for my life. I have gone places and experienced things I never could have dreamed of.

I became and wife to a wonderful man...
I became a mother to two beautiful girls...
I have my dream job of teaching...
I lived in Arizona establishing myself as an adult and realizing how valuable and important family is...
God blessed me with a move back close to family....

Lord,
 I surrender my fears, anxiety and worry to you. I know you want what's best for me and although I am not in control you are. Thank you for all the blessings you have bestowed upon me.
Amen.